+ Anomalistic Behaviour +

~After years passed by I’m still learning how to let go and at the same time I roam around the internet and real life looking for some inspiration. I’ve never been known for my utterly sensitivity, but I am well known for being magnificent at the moment of faking it; there must be a reason, or better I know there used to be one, which in the present time I’ve forgotten.

“Learning to LET GO” That sounds like a pitiful pop song, something the fags of Tokyo Hotel wouldn’t even dare to sing if they had more balls than hair (just for the record, mine is prettier, fucks). It’s been a long time since that December morning of 2006, and then that April of 2007 both so full of melancholy, obnoxious memories and bad times. And even though some of the wounds have healed due to my incredibly narcissistic personality, some others remain wide open, I’ve realized though that is not the flesh, the entity which I miss, more accurately I would say is the feeling itself. For someone as closed as myself having someone to know the deepest corners of yourself is quiet an accomplishment, I’m not fond on meeting new people not because I think they are stupid (which most of the times happens to be true) but because all the ritual of breeding is so vulgar and repetitive, has a complete lack of elegance, of total charm. Meeting new people is saying the same old words, the same old questions and the same old answers, the only thing that changes is the breast size or the lack of any cognoscitive qualities, and both in the end can be resumed  in one simple word “USELESS”.

I'll never get how people bond to each other, don’t they get tired of the same old shits? I wander on my college and see groups of humans, virgin flesh interacting talking, and when I come closer all I hear is the same old discourse of the ones before and so on and on, so how do they do it? I know, I know. I’m a psychologist to be and I should “have” some answers but for your misfortune that’s not even close to the branch I work in. So my question remains unanswered. I’ve asked a few “friends” so to say for the sake of communication how they do it and the answer I get every time is “it just happens” (Yeah, sure, like a fucking heart attack). I am being honest here when I say I would love to “bond” with someone, on a more “real” context so to say, because I cannot deny I have my own bonds, sadly all of them are so far away, I guess that’s why they work: No Reality-No Drama; because I honestly despise one thing about relationships, and is when someone knows someone you know, I would get away of a person like that, I don’t like to mix friends, I wonder, really.. How do they do it on such an honest way? I can, of course, but I have to pretend way too much and is honestly too much of a problem for me to keep up on such a foolish Game.

Any tips will be appreciated.

Virtually yours,
Damian Dior.